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“You cannot plow a field by turning it over in your mind” (unknown) |
Pre-Engagement / Pre-marital CoachingREDUCE THE CHANCE OF DIVORCE AND INCREASE RELATIONSHIP SKILLS AND SATISFACTION!Marriage is a Christian worship service uniting a man and a woman. Many times pre-marital counseling is started after money has already been paid for the wedding and financial commitments have been made. Often no one wants to disappoint others (especially a family member who may be paying for the wedding) if they uncover something about the relationship that sends up a red flag. The couple is fixated on the relationship and their resistance to changing it is at its highest. While dating, couples will see each other through "rose-colored glasses", and then after marriage they start looking at each other through magnifying glasses. I believe it should be the other way around. Before marriage, we should look at our relationship under a microscope and locate growth opportunities. After the wedding, we should put on those rose-colored glasses and focus on the strengths of the relationship while continuing to take steps to grow and enrich the relationship. In marriage, there will be a need for multiple investments in a growing relationship. Often, pre-marital counseling is seen as a means to an end of getting to the ceremony and more planning is put into the wedding than the marriage. I’ve been there and it makes for a difficult ride.
The truth is, counseling/coaching/planning for the MARRIAGE should begin BEFORE any of the plans are made for the WEDDING. Did you know that an average couple spends more time training for their driver’s license than they do their marriage license? Do you realize that both married couples and divorced couples shared the same level of satisfaction on their wedding day? Couples spend thousands on the wedding yet often invest nothing in the marriage. Learn how to enjoy marriage, not just endure, but getting in alignment with one another. There's a saying that says "Everyone falls in love with the front end of a puppy." Think about that one for a few moments! Gift yourself or someone else the gift of pre-marital coaching!
Divorce rates reveal that too often couples are not equipped to deal with the challenges they will face in marriage (40% rate of divorce for first marriages, 60% for second, and 73% for third), it makes good sense to invest in building a strong foundation and preparing more for the marriage than the wedding. Sometimes couples will ask a pastor to do their pre-marital counseling. This is wise, because the person you consult with should be someone who can guide you spiritually and speak truth into your life. What if, however, your pastor is limited in the amount of time he/she can spend in helping you assess your readiness? What if you are not comfortable with the possibility of parts of your less-than-perfect past coming up in front of your pastor? A Christian life coach who works in pre-marital coaching may be your answer. Explore relationship strengths and growth areas through an online assessment, learn important skills in the areas of communication, conflict resolution, financial management, and stress management. Take a personality assessment, learn your love style, how to apologize, and what forgiveness really means. Increase insight and awareness in important areas such as roles, spiritual beliefs, personality differences, sexuality, and expectations. Learn to talk about tendencies, appreciate differences, and work together as a team. Pre-marital coaching also functions as a preventive tool to help couples become aware of issues before they turn into major problems. Call Wendy at 706-540-7259 to take the first step.
Details on the MERGE PRE-MARITAL PREPARATION PACKAGE Certified in SYMBIS, PREPARE-ENRICH, and iPromise.
"A WEDDING is just a one-time promise; a MARRIAGE is a daily pursuit" -Gary Thomas, Author, Sacred Marriage
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